I can’t talk to anyone out loud, so I’m venting into cyber-space. I have to get to a happy place.
Bryce’s doctor called. The results of the 24-hour monitor they gave us on Feb 19 came back. He now shows to have an arrhythmia.
Here’s where my mind starts filling in the blanks. Here’s where I think I already know what’s going to happen because I’ve seen it all before. Here is when it’s hard to fight and believe for anything different.
This is like, ultra-dramatic . . . . but I feel like I’m facing my life-long nemesis in this heart disease. There is so much familiarity in this situation that it feels like a person I don’t like showed back up again in my life and I have to deal with them. I know this thing and I absolutely hate it.
I know what I believe about blessings and curses. I know what I believe about healing and God’s faithfulness. The unexpected twist is that I feel too tired at this moment to apply myself.
We’re going to be okay – I keep saying that and I truly believe it. The question is, how far down this road will we have to walk?
It's not ultra-dramatic AT ALL. Of course it's a nemesis. I'm sorry you feel too tired to apply yourself but God knows your heart. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you feel tired but the good thing is that you have others standing in the gap for you. That is what we are here for....to love and support you, to cry with you and to be ultra-dramatic for you when you can't even muster the energy for that. Love you soooo much!
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